Advice from Hubby to Me......about Parenting!

You need to just enjoy a normal day, not just the events. Be happy with the day to day stuff. It really is fun.

That is my husband's advice to me about parenting.

Whatever.

Seriously, there is some truth to it. Okay, a TON of truth to it!

The advice came after a brief, non-eventful conversation betwwen Hubby and I and his best friend and his wife about raising kids. They have an adorable 10 month old little boy. That age was my favorite phase with Grace. Old enough to sit up. Personality was just starting to shine through. Curious about everything around her. But still a baby. I could run errands and know that she wont take off running down various aisles with me chasing her. I could simply push the carrier release button on the car seat base instead of unbuckling her every time we got out of the car. My life, while changed, was still in my control.

As soon as Grace hit 2 years old, it changed for me. Errands with a toddler!? HAHAHAHHAA! Not fun. A moment, just a small moment, without noise........never again in the foreseen future with a toddler who has discovered the "Why Game". And the whining. Oh the whining.

Its not that I dont enjoy the small moments and realize that, overall, Grace is an easy kid. She is perfect really. But toddler-hood is the hardest mothering/parenting challenge I have yet to experience. Its about control for me. I cant control a toddler's schedule as easily as an infant's. Its frustarating for me.

On the flip side, this is Hubby's favorite stage. He and Grace watch football together, have weekly dinner dates while I am in class, and have such a cool relationship. I treat her like a Kid. You still think of her as your Baby. Hubby's advice, or deep thought, again. Well she is my Baby, damnit!!!

Why can't it just simply be hard for me, this toddler stage?

I am trying hard this week to focus on those "every day moments" with Grace and Hubby. So far so good. But honestly, in secret, I am planning the Christmas holiday to every detail............it gives me something to look forward to.

Hmmmm......maybe Hubby has a point.

My Daughter, SuperNanny in Training

The day has come that we have to watch everything we say at home.

Hubby and I were chatting and I commented that someone was being a d.i.c.k.

30 seconds later, my sweet little girl was curled up next to me chanting "d.i.c.k" over and over and over again.

After explaining that Mommy was not nice and said a bad word while trying not to laugh, Grace sent me to the Naughty Step.

And I sat there.

Until she decided that it was okay for me to get up. She walked over to me and said "Mommy sorry? I wuv wu."

Yep, Mommy sat on the Naughty Step. What would SuperNanny say?

And all this AFTER our first "watch what you say" incident of the weekend............

During the Redskins game on Sunday (our weekly family tv time), the Skins threw an interseption (surprise, surprise! I am a lifelong fan of the Skins but we have some issues on the field!). Hubby and I sighed and rolled our eyes at the tv. But that wasnt enough for Miss Grace.

She stood up in front of the big screen tv, stomped her foot, and said "Damnit, damnit, damnit!".

It took us a minute to realize what she was saying but once we did, it was so hard not to laugh.

Oh, kids. How funny they can be!!!

3 Years....and Counting

Thanksgiving was over. The rain was pouring down. Roses were tucked in my hair. The missing bridesmaid dress was found, thanks to the groomsmen. All our friends and family were there with us. The cake was gorgeous. And it was the most dramatic, most exciting, and most life-changing day of my life.

It was our wedding day. 3 years ago today.

Happy Anniversary Hubby. I love you!

For a small walk down memory lane, here are a few pictures from the day to enjoy!

This picture is all Hubby's fraternity brothers and their better halfs. We refer to this specific group of people as our "Friend Family". They have been there for us through all the good times and all the rough times. We would not have made it through some of those times without their love and support. Thanks guys----we love you!

Oh, the best part of the entire ceremony----the kiss!!!! Hubby pulled me in for a good long kiss after I tried to wimp out and go for a "church kiss". Boy, am I glad he did!!!

Our very first picture as husband and wife. It seems like it was yesterday that we were getting ready for our wedding. Now, 3 years have passed and life with Hubby gets better and better.

A Little of This and That

I have not fallen off the Blogger-world. I am here. Just really distracted lately.

My trips around the country are finally over......for now. Thanksgiving was nice and actually relaxing. All my S-A-N-T-A shopping is done thanks to Black Friday deals and now I am trying to focus on work and prepping for Hubby's surgery.

Black Friday rocked. The outlet mall here opened at midnight and so yes, a friend and I were there until 4 am. SO much fun to shop in the middle of the night. By 7 am, I had bought all the gifts for the man in the big red suit to leave for Grace. I know----I am amazing! hehehehehhe!

This week is a little crazy already.......and its only Monday. Tomorrow we meet again with the surgeon to schedule Hubby's aortic aneurysm repair. I keep telling myself that I am ready for all this but in reality, I am just really that good at fooling myself. No matter how scared/worried/upset I am about it all, it pales in comparison to how Hubby must be feeling. And so I hold it in so I can be strong for him. Yes, I need a drink and will fall apart later but for now, I must be strong and just go with the flow the surgeon sets up.

More later.............

Shop Til I Drop!

Black Friday is one of my favorite days of the year. Yep, I am one of Those People. Alarm rings at 3:30 AM, at the closest Starbucks by 4:30 AM, and the stores open their doors at 5:00 AM. By 10:00 AM, my Christmas shopping for Grace is done. Its fantastic.

In past years, a friend of mine and I would embark on the adventure together. Now I go on my own and I love it just as much.

Check out this site: Black Friday deals!!!!

Have Laptop, Will Travel

My job involves travel. Once a year I am on-site at a meeting for a week. 6 months before the meeting I visit the hotel for a planning visit. And at some point during the year, I take a few days for site cisits for future meetings. These visits are planned out weeks ahead of time. The few days leading up to the visit, I research the hotels I am visiting, the city, and have a list of items to ask about/see/verify/etc. Site visits are extremely important and I like to be prepared.

So how I ended up in Denver yesterday for a site visit is a little crazy for me. I bought the plane ticket at 2:53 pm on Thursday and my flight left DC at 9:00 AM on Friday. And now I am home. I was in Denver for almost exactly 24 hours. When I arrived at the Denver airport Friday, I heard the boarding call for the same flight I was on this morning (Saturday).

Oh, and I just bought a plane ticket for Austin, TX. I leave DC Monday night and come home on the busiest travel day of the year--Wednesday. It better be a damn cool city to have to fly on the day before Thanksgiving!

Oh, how I need a holiday!!!!

On Today's Menu: Aortic Repair! UPDATED

simplified drawing of a thoractic aortic aneurysm

And so we embark on yet another adventure.....if you can even call it that.

Thoractic aortic aneurysm repair. Sounds fun, huh? (sarcasm, folks!)

Hubby's aortic aneurysm is between 5.5 cm and 6 cm in diameter and, with Marfan's Syndrome, must be repaired as soon as possible. According to the surgeon we met with yesterday, there are 3 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas..........for at least a week of that time, Hubby will be at the hospital with the vascular surgeon followed by 4-6 weeks at home recovering.

More detailed information about the surgery is below.

Silver Lining----umm, can't find it right now. But we do have a great surgeon working on Hubby. There is no way to avoid this procedure and so we are just trying to get through it.

Sounds like a great holiday season ahead.

What is an Aneurysm?

The aorta is the large artery that stems from the heart and carries blood to the rest of the body. The part of the artery that comes out of the heart and travels through the chest is called the thoracic aorta, and the part of the aorta that travels through the abdomen, or stomach area, is called the abdominal aorta. At the navel (bellybutton) the aorta splits into two arteries called the iliac arteries. Smaller arteries, like the renal arteries, branch off the aorta to carry blood to the kidneys and other organs.

An aneurysm forms when a part of the thoracic or abdominal aorta weakens and the wall stretches and expands like a balloon. As it balloons outward, the wall of the aorta becomes thinner and weaker. If the wall becomes too thin it may tear open or rupture causing massive internal bleeding which is a life threatening situation. Sometimes, the aneurysm is dissecting. This occurs when the layers of the aortic wall tear and separate from each other and blood fills the layers between the aortic walls.

(Note: Hubby's aneurysm is on the descending thoractic aorta and has a dissection.)

How do I know if I have an aneurysm?

Often, aortic aneurysms produce no symptoms until they rupture. A pulsation in the abdomen may be found on physical exam, or a bulge may show up on an x-ray film or sonogram. Many times they are diagnosed during an exam for another purpose. Acute symptoms of dissection or rupture can include chest or back pain (between the shoulders, or lower back). Any sudden onset of chest pain should warrent immediate medical attention.

During the procedure

Your Surgeon will make an incision in the abdomen. The aorta is exposed and the aneurysm is replaced with a synthetic tube. The incision is then closed with sutures.

(Note: Hubby's incision will run from under his left arm to the center of his chest down to his abdomen. All those organs (spleen, kidneys, etc) that are blockng the surgeon's view of the aorta will simply be moved out of the way for the time being.)

The Anti-Climantic End to Family Table Drama

After being "stuck in Paris" for 6 hours today, my parents are back home....to the stained basement carpet and dented table. And no one is screaming or throwing a tantrum................no drama/climax/good story to end this chapter.

My mom called me to tell me they were home, exhausted, had a great time, and that the table was the only issue at the house (I played dumb regarding my previous knowledge). Apparently, my brother told my mom when she got home about the table and they are having the table refinished.

Wow---he took responsibility AND maybe, just maybe, he is growing up.

I Work Because I Have To. And Yes, I Bring My Uterus To Work Too!

Photo of Elizabeth Vargas, host of 20/20, with her newborn son on her return to work.

"Maybe they should leave their childbearing uterus at home. Why work?"

This was a comment by a radio show caller mentioned on 20/20 tonight. I cant even believe someone would say something like this aloud. This un-named caller was calling the Los Angeles-based radio talk-show host Tom Leykis.

What an ass.

20/20 also quoted a woman, Aimee Foley, who stated "While I'll probably never own a business, if I did, I would do whatever necessary, law be damned, to be sure that no women worked for me. I would be too concerned with her personal choices affecting my business. I just cannot imagine having important business foiled by a missed bus or a sick minor at home that she would put first."

What an ass again.



If leaving the child bearing uterus at home or making sure the sick kid doesnt interupt business, then maybe we as a country need to simply say that NO parent can work out of the house; leave those child-making p-n-ses at home too!

Mommy Wars are completely counter-productive (among other things). This particular post has NOTHING to do with the SAHM vs WOHM moms. Its about moms; all moms are working moms. Some of us have the ability to be a mom at home caring for her home/family/children while her partner/spouse/etc earns the money needed to pay the bills. Some of us dont have that ability and have to hold a second full time job (the first being a mom, the second our career or job).

Regardless of where you work during the daytime hours, we all, as moms, need certain things. In my opinion (and its my blog so thats what I will go with), the most important thing I need and rarely get is recognition that my "choice" is hard and that I really am doing the best I can do. In the end, dont we all want that?



One of the things discussed on 20/20 was this country's lack of support for working moms. The US is one of four countries in the world that does not provide for paid maternity (or paternity) leave. As the world's superpower, that is an embarassing statistic---even Iran has a better policy than we do in terms of working moms!


Why do I work out of the house? Because I have to, NOT because I want to. Yes, I have a great job and I love what I do more often than not. But in my heart, I would walk away from it all if I could to spend every moment of the day with my daughter. I missed her first step (I was in Seattle on a business trip) and I wasnt here for the last birthday party she was invited to either because, yes, I was on another business trip. Those moments break my heart. I hate doing the morning drop off at day care but picking up in the afternoon is the greatest part of my day.



Working moms dont want pity. We dont want to whine about things we dont have or things we do have to deal with (a THICK and lower glass ceiling, stupid radio show hosts, etc). We dont want to start a big nasty media fight with SAHMs. We just want to have the tools and policies available to do what we need to do to provide for our families. A little flexibilty, understanding, compassion, and respect----thats what I want in life. And hey, isnt that what all moms want?

And so to Tom Leykis-----screw off!

Its That Time of Year Already!?

You better watch out,

You better not cry.

Better not pout,

I'm telling you why

Santa Claus is coming to town.

He's making a list,

And checking it twice;

Gonna find out

Who's naughty and nice.

Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping.

He knows when you're awake.

He knows if you've been bad or good.

So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!

You better not cry.

Better not pout, I'm telling you why.

Santa Claus is coming to town.

Santa Claus is coming to town.

I love Christmas. Its so much fun to stand in lines for hours trying to get the perfet gift for all 45 people on my Gift List. And I can hardly wait to read the instructions to a kid's toy at 2 am. But please dont forget about the big credit card bill that shows up in mid-January to prove what a great holiday we all had! Yep, I love Christmas.

I really do. Its all the adult crap at Christmas I dont like. Remember as a kid, waiting for Santa to come? Falling asleep on Christmas Eve was so hard-----my sister and I used to lay awake for hours waiting up for Santa. And yes, we swore we heard him one year!!! And oh, the presents---always loved those!!!

Now that I am an adult and I have to "assist Santa", not so much fun anymore. That jolly old man is expensive!!!! But the look on Grace's face Christmas morning makes it all worth it. She gets so excited and giddy over all the new toys and things to see.

You are probably wondering why in the world am I posting about Christmas in early November!? Yep, I am wondering the same thing.

I am starting to get in the holiday prep mode. Thanksgiving is only 2 weeks away. Check it off my list cause I have gotten out of hosting this year! HAHAHAHAHA! But Christmas, not so lucky. Hubby and I are hosting our first family Christmas Eve dinner at the house. STRESS! Tradition in Hubby's family is Fondue Christmas so at least its fun!

While getting prepped is okay early (right? it is okay, right?), I am starting to think that the malls in this area are going a little nutty. Tomorrow is Veterans Day. Nope, the mall is not hosting a "Remember our Veterans" event.

Santa is arriving at the mall at 3:30 PM to a big fanfare event. On November 9.

Its a liitle early for all that, dont you think?

(And in case you are wondering.....yes, I will be THAT MOM who dresses her toddler up tomorrow for the chance to see Santa's arrival at the mall. In November. Before Thanksgiving. Yep, I am THAT MOM.)

Simple Rules to Follow

Check out the Mad Face on my little girl! What is a mom to do about all this!?!?!?!?! I need help!

No hitting. No biting. No kicking. No scratching. No pinching. No throwing.

Seriously, are these hard rules to follow? I dont think so but Grace does. For a 2 year old to be asked to follow these rules, its impossible. Or at least thats my experience.

Over the past few months, we have been struggling with each of those. It started with hitting and progressed (in order) through the "no XXXX" above. Yesterday, I was pulled aside AGAIN at day care to discuss behavior. Grace is throwing toys at her friends. Yesterday it was a Barbie doll. The day before was a plastic cup.

I feel like we have tried everything........Naughty Step, taking away the toy she threw, early bedtime, distraction, talking to her. Now day care wants to almost ignore it. We think she is behaving this way for attention. If we dont give her the attention she apparently wants, then she should stop. Right? Please!

One side of me thinks I should listen to day care---she has been watching kids for 17 years so she must know what she is talking about. The other side of me is really concerned about Grace. Why is she so angry? She's an only child at home but at day care, she has always been surrounded with other kids so why is she acting out now? Not to mention the part of me that is totally embarassed every day at pickup time. What report am I going to get today? Are all these parents looking at me thinking "that's the bad kids mom"? What am I doing wrong that Grace is the only one misbehaving constantly?

I dont know what to do anymore. I talked to her doctor the other day and mentioned it all. He said "She's 2". Yeah, well, this 2 year old is already the class bully and Mama doesnt like it!

Any ideas!?!? I am at a loss. WHy is this toddler parenting so hard?!!?!??!?!!?! Does it ever get easier!?!?!?!?!?!?

And yes, Blog-o-sphere, I realize that I have posted about this a million times. Deal with it---I am frustarated and so I am writing about it.

It's Your Right

Here's my theory: you can't spend the next 2 years complaining about things unless you vote. How else are you going to make a difference? Without voting, you are allowing other people to make your choices, therefore giving up the right to bitch and complain about it all. So vote, damn it!

And where your "I Voted" sticker proudly all day long.

And the Jenga Tower Topples.........

My parents called yesterday from Italy, sitting at a cafe sipping cappacinno. They saved their pennies for a year, along with my mom's 2 best friends, and embarked on a 2 week tour of Italy. They deserve it.

My brother is 19 and living at home. My sister and I swore up and down to my mom that he would be fine alone. That we would stop by to check in and have him over for dinner and yada yada yada. I even crashed his party Thursday night. There are 10 or so people there, just hanging out. No big deal. I was pleasantly surprised that I didnt have to start throwing people out and be the "Mean Big Sister". In fact, I was down right proud. Maybe he was growing up and turning on a little responsibility. Friday night---same thing. Saturday night, same thing. Things were going fine over at my parents house.

Until yesterday..............

There is soda and beer stains on the brand new (1 week old) carpet in the basement. There are cigarette burns in the basement bathroom rug; not to mention the cigarette butts on the bathroom floor! Oh but thats not the worst. Those things are managable.

The beautiful Pottery Barn table and chairs in my mom's kitchen---the table and chairs she dreamed of and saved her money for----is ruined. Apparently there was no other flat surface in the house for my brother's friends to play Jenga on.

I am not kidding.

The table has 3 leaves; the outside two are rounded to make an oval table. The end leaves arent too bad but the middle leaf (the largest section) has at least a dozen dents from the Jenga blocks. Some are pretty shallow (still the color of the table but dented). Others are so deep that the color is different than the table surface.

Oh yeah....the table is discontinued at Pottery Barn and cannot be replaced.

Dont' Tell the Toddler!

I thouhgt it had stopped. Good report cards were coming home from day care and she seemed to be more herself. BUT I WAS WRONG!

Apparently, Grace has decided to not hit or kick or bit anymore. She has graduated to pushing and pinching. Its a ton of fun, really. At any moment, around any corner, there she is---ready and waiting for you to come near her favorite-toy-of-the-moment. If you do, she will push you. A second attempt warrants a pinch/pull of your hair (and yes, she can handle both those tasks with one hand!!).

Naughty Step doesnt work anymore, taking away toys doesnt work cause all she does is scream until I cant handle it anymore, and sending her to her room doesnt accomplish much cause there are cool toys in there to play with. I raise the white flag. I am clueless on how to stop this!!

And BOSSY----where did that come from?! (Okay, Real Life Friends....no need to answer that question!!!) The other day, I took her to McDonald's for dinner (yea, yea, bad mommy....whatever!) and when she was done and I was done, I told her it was time to go home. She looked at me and said: "No go home. Finish yout juice. Right. Now."

HUH!? Excuse me?! Are you the mommy or am I? I was a little confused there for a minute!

The doctor tells me that its a phase, that she is trying to figure out who has control, and who is in charge, and all that stuff. Well, little one, its ME! And Daddy! Not you, the 2 1/2 year old is not the master of the house.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA! I am laughing at myself. Seriously, who am I kidding!? Of course she is the master of the house. We just can't let her know!!

The Cutest Witch You Have Ever Seen

As promised....pictures of the Halloween festivities:

Grace was the cutest witch on the block last night! Here she is applying her makeup!

Grace and her day care friend playing with balloons at the Halloween Party. So adorable!

Most of the day care Halloween party was spent dancing to all the tunes. Check out the witch Mardi Gras beads!

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And last, but certainly not least, today is a special day...........GINGERBREAD LATTE DAY!!! They are back and I have already finished my first Venti, Extra Hot, 6 Pump Gingerbread Latte of the season! YUM!