Learning a Hard Lesson

In the hallway outside Grace's classroom is a wall of photos.  Each kid in 5th grade, holding up a piece of paper where they wrote how they were going to stop bullies in the school.

Grace's said "I will be a hero".  

So how exactly can you be a hero when it comes to bullying?  By standing up for those who are getting picked on.  By talking to people and telling them their actions are hurting over people. By reaching out to teachers/counselors/adults when things seem to be out of hand and they need to get involved.  

Everywhere you look these days are stories of kids who were bullied, who felt alone, and who sometimes act out their anger/resentment/sadness is very violent or sad ways.  Its all over the news and every story like that makes me so sad.  So when I saw Grace's picture comment, I got teary --- at the amazing-ness of her statement.  

What we aren't talking about is what happens to the kids who ARE standing up, who ARE trying to reach out, and who ARE calling people out when they are picking on someone.  

Grace was a hero and now.....she's the one paying the price.  Not the kid who was bullied or even the kid who was the bully.  She is the one left out of the birthday party invitations.  She is the one left out of the lunch table and group texts after school.  She is the one who is asked over and over "why did you do that?".  The kid who was doing the bullying --- that kid has everyone rallying around them because "(Grace) hurt her feelings and she got into trouble cause (Grace) told on her.  Why would you do that?!".

The lesson Grace has learned --- don't tell.  Don't say anything.  Don't get involved.  Because now, in her experience, when you stand up for someone and get the adults involved, you lose your friends.  

Is that really the lesson we want our kids to learn?  Why is the girl who stood up for someone the kid sitting in her house sobbing because her friends are mad at her while the kid who did the bullying is enjoying a sleepover birthday party --- a party for one of Grace's friends and one she was excluded from by this friend? 

Sometimes being the hero really sucks.  Even when it is the right thing to do.  Try explaining that to a 5th grader. 


4 Years Ago

I casually checked one of my favorite apps this morning and saw this - cue a panic attack:

4 years ago - there I was posting about a "minor" outpatient surgery for the Hubby. Look at that - had a OB appt in the morning and then brought Hubby to the OR for a hernia surgery.  No biggie right?!  I thought so too at the time. This easy surgery was the start of one of the most traumatic experiences of our life- a week later, disaster; I will never forget the details of that event.  I am DREADING the TimeHop posts next week.  DREADING so much that I am tempted to simply delete the app unitl I know the updates will stop.  

Seeing these posts right now remind me of how stressed, how sad, how scared, and how overwhelmed I felt.  How alone I felt in the experience - making decisions I never wanted to make or ever thought I would really need to.  

As I type this post, it also reminds me how lucky we are.  We made it through (and then again we made it through another medical disaster last year).  The experience changed our life - made us a better team, a better couple, and I think really better parents.  We are so grateful for the moments we have because we were so close to losing it all.  

For 4 years, I have looked back - almost obsessed with how this experience changed us, changed life. It's like a line in the sand of my life - I refer to "before the disaster" and "post-disaster" life.  Yes, it was a defining moment for us. Medically, it changed things for the Hubby.  I hope that soon, so soon, that I can stop looking back at this moment.  That it can become a season of our life but not one that I have to continually deal with again and again and again.  

It won't be now.  Probably won't be this year.  But one day, this type of update won't make me panic. 


Snow Day...AGAIN

Snow Day #10....in addition to the 5 plus delayed openings this year.  The first couple snow days we played and enjoyed the time off from the regular weekday schedules.  After awhile, it just wasnt't possible - clients still needed me to meet with them about their events, house errands still need to be done, and the kids did still need their schedules to keep moving forward.  

Today we got 8 inches of snow (side note: not sure I believe my own ruler - looks like a bit more than that to me but whatever - it's a lot!).  School closed today - even the Hubby stayed home from work! School has already been cancelled tomorrow.  The kids aren't so excited about that one since now they get to spend the day tomorrow hanging out while I have event meetings.  

But today.  Today we had fun.  Movie time.  Playing.  Painting and shoveling snow.  Cleaning our rooms (yep, I am the mean mom who asks kids to do chores on snow days!).  Just a good day home with the whole family enjoying our time together.  I am trying hard to soak up all these fun, carefree moments of life lately.  
My Girls - both growing up too fast.
This pic taken while Grace was making lunch for everyone today. 

Movie time - Delaney and Will are very excited for Olaf!

Best picture of the day - Daddy is shoveling and
Grace picked the wrong spot to take a rest in the snow! 

Delaney is not a fan of standing IN the snow - she is perfectly
happy to hang out in the garage and watch the white stuff.

Love how to snow frames our house - so so pretty. 

FINALLY in the snow - my sweet pretty baby girl.