2/22/15

My Boy is Growing Up

"He is so independent".

"He did that all by himself." 

"He got his breakfast himself and is happy as can be." 

Apparently my boy can dress himself, get breakfast snacks himself, and basically function just fine independently.  Only not with me.  Only for Dad.  

I noticed it this weekend.  We were all in the house together  - snowed in - doing chores, playing games, watching movies and just hanging out.  If Hubby asked Will to do something, he would get up and just do it.  If I made the exact same request, nothing.  I got whining and "I cant do that.  I need help!".  

Oh man does that frustrate me.  All week during the day, I am home - managing the activities and schedule for all three kids.  The kids and I spend the days doing errands, playing, and getting things done around the house.  I just assumed that this would also mean that the kids would listen to me and respond to my requests first.  I mean, we spend every hour together so they should, right? 

Nope.  

And then tonight, as I sit here and think about why Will responds this way to me, well, I will admit it.  I baby my boy.  He's my only boy.  He was going to be my last baby.  He came into our lives at a really hard time so I see him as one of the reasons we made it through - like he rescued us and gave us even more fight to get through that time.  

Silly Selfie of me and my boy
I want him to be self-sufficient.  I want him to be able to do things himself.  I want him to learn do things for himself without my help.  I know that him growing up doenst make him less of my baby.  I know that it happens whether I want it to or not --- he is growing up, turning into a smart, funny, strong kid. He loves school.  He loves to build things and run and play games and has an incredible imagination.  He is thriving at school and he is loves to learn new things and tell us all about them.  

Letting go of the baby and helping him grow into a kid is normal...and its time for it.  My boy will always be my special baby who gave me hope when I needed it and whose little kisses light up my world. 

1/23/15

Glorious Mess


This quote landed in my Inbox the other day.  I love quotes.  I love to find new ones to kick start my day or to find inspiration in or to motivate me. If we are Facebook friends (if not, we should be!!), you know this about because I post them a lot.  But this quote - it shook me.  A mess?  Why would this quote find its way into a "Inspiratonal Quote of the Day" series??

It's my favorite quote ever.

Every day we all wake up and do out very best to present ourselves to the outside world as productive, responsible, put-together, non-mess adults.  We edit our Facebook posts to only show the positives in our life.  Instagram is just snapshots of the split seconds of our days that are cute, funny, or share-worthy.  But seriously?!  Is there anyone you know that really has it all together?

What we hide from the world is our mess.  But why?  Are we afraid that people will think less of us?  Scared that we won't be that perfect neighbor or the co-worker with it all figured out?

I am a mess.  And this past year, I was the biggest mess I have ever been.  But I hide my mess.  I kept the messy emotions and needs deep down inside --- from the outside, I was managing my career, household, medical incidents, and everything else with organization, strength, and humor.  Underneath, a total mess.  The humor --- can't cry when you are laughing.  The strength - well, I was the sole able adult at our house for a couple weeks; did I really have a choice about putting my two feet on the floor running every morning?   Organized?  Yea, a little.  At the beginning, my medical binder came off the bookshelf - doctor notes, test results, and insurance paperwork was filed by date immediately.  Now, the binder really a folder of papers not in their sections and most definitely not in date order.  But the info is there so that's a plus right?!

It wasn't until a friend reached out and said "I know you are a mess and so I am stepping in to help" that I realized, showing my mess inside isn't a bad thing.  That people understand.  That they are a mess too.  And that sometimes being a mess is better than being all put together.

My mess IS my strength.  It makes me ME.  It makes my days interesting - never know what's going to happen!  It makes me push ahead to the next day, to the next challenge.   It makes me human and life more interesting.

So, let's show our messes - our real glorious selves.


1/10/15

And Now I Know

Obviously, I know NOTHING about fashion anymore.

Me: Grace, we are going to the mall on a school snow day.  Its going to be crowded and very likely you will run into your friends from school.  Do you want to maybe change out of your lounging-around-the-house outfit of sweatpants and a tshirt and beatup boots?  Maybe wear something cute since we are going out?
Grace:  Nah.  I'm good.
Me:  Okay, well T (her current boy crush) could very possibly be there.  Hope he likes the "relaxed slum" look.
Grace:  Mom, he should like me for me and not care about my mis-matched outfit.  And anyways, this outfit IS cute - its just a relaxed hanging out look.
Me: (secretly proud but ugh - WHY does she insist on leaving the house in this outfit while there are multiple new things in her closet unworn!!!)

Clearly, we are embarassing to be with in public,

Girls:  We have our phones.  It's not like we are going to get lost.
Moms:  No. You are 10. You are not wondering the mall by yourself.
Girls: UGH. Whatever! (as they turn and bounce into the Apple store alone carrying the blended beverage just bought for them)

We are old and are memory is shot - otherwise, the girls wouldn't have to ask the same questions 177 times in 4 minutes.

Girls:  Can we go to Fr21?
Moms: Later, yes, we will go.
****17.3 seconds later****
Girls:  Can we go to F21 now?
Moms: LATER!
*****1 minute later****
Girls: Is it later yet?
Moms: UGH!!!!

Again, there I go being embarassing, until the credit card is needed.  Then I am okay to be seen with.

Via text:
Grace: Can I get this dress?
Mom:  I will look at it when I get there in a minute.
Grace: WHAT? Why are you in the store with us?
Mom: Do you want the dress?
Grace: yes,
Mom:  Well then I need to be here to pay for it.
Grace:  Oh.  Okay.  But after you can leave again.

And, well, best quote of the day - still laughing.

As we are getting in the car:
Me:  So are you and A (the BFF) going to wear your matching dresses to school tomorrow?
Grace: No.  We are going to wear them on Wednesday.
Me:  Um, okay,  Why Wednesday?
Grace:  Cause everyone decided to wear pink on Wednesday.
Me:  Oh.  (As I hid behind the open tailgate of my car laughing hysterically while also hoping all hopes that Mean Girls movie hasn't already infiltrated the 5th grade class)