My White Flag

It's 9:30 on a Thursday and I tried. I really did try to stay up and hang with the hubby tonight.

But I had to wave the white flag.

I am exhausted. Emotionally mostly but it's also probably time to admit that this pregnancy is wearing me out by the end of each day. But that is a different post.

This week sucked. No other way to say it. Grace struggles at school - she always has. We see improvements and then they seem to disappear as fast as they appear. She gets overwhelmingly frustrated at the smallest most ridiculous things - to the point that she can't refocus herself. Her emotional impulse responses are not always age appropriate or frankly behavior that is acceptable to us.

For awhile, we have simply brushed some of it off as Grace being a sensitive girl --- much like her mama, she gets her feelings hurt easily and it's hard for her to move on immediately.

No more. It's affecting her schoolwork, her friendships, everything. It's breaking my heart --- obviously nothing we have done has helped her.

Parenting is hard I know. But this week I am finding it impossible --- I seriously don't know what to do for my own kid.

Tonight I am letting myself feel like crap about it - white flag is up. Next week we will start down the road with doctors and therapists or whoever else we need to help her be the awesome, amazing , smart and nice girl that we know she is.

2

Will is  2?!  Already!?  Can that be?

At the Farm on his birthday.

I remember his birth day so clearly.  All the details are still fresh in my mind.   Will was born in the middle of quite possibly the most stressful medical adventure of our lives - the Hubby was so sick for so long and Will joined our family right as it was beginning.  He was the ray of sunshine in a rough time.  

Today, he is still that ray of sunshine.  

His smile lights up the room 

He loves his sister like she is the end all and be all in his world.  

His laugh is just simply adorable.  

He has a photo-head-tilt that just elevates every single photo into a must-keep.  

Happy birthday my little man.  I love you so so much.  

VERY serious about eating his Mickey cupcakes.

 

Overwhelming Week

24 hours down.  Only 4 more days to go.

The hubby has played 2 rounds of golf and has at least 5 or 6 more before he comes home.  That's right -- a 5 day golf trip with 19 other guys.

I am on my own with the kiddos.

Normally, one or two days is fine.  No big deal.  I am lucky with the age spread between Grace and Will.  Grace can basically do her things on her own with a little guidance from me.  Will just follows Grace everywhere and as long as he has a cup of water or milk and a toy in his hand, he is pretty happy.

24 hours into this trip --- I.  am.  exhausted.

Could be the result of a long work day to start the adventure.  Could be the fact that I am running around after the two kids on my own while 17 weeks pregnant.  Or it could simply be that our schedule is just generally insane so getting tired is just part of the deal.

Not sure which one it is but wow.  When the hubby is gone, I realize just how much I depend on both of us to keep this family and house running smoothly.

Oh, and I have NO NO NO idea how the heck I am going to manage adding another little one to our house.  Its one of those days --- HOW am I going to do it?  Bedtime with 3?!  Errands with me and 4 kids?!  Totally overwhelmed just thinking about it.  23 weeks to go to figure it out!