A Continued Struggle...Resolved, I think

“9:30 AM, Tuesday. Appointment is set. Let the boss know you are gonna be late!”

This is how the conversation started yesterday with Hubby.

We are touring a private pre-school for Grace.

And I am anxious about it. There have been several posts here about my struggle of whether or not to send her to school or to leave her at day care. Both options have benefits; both have disadvantages. And this is the first time I feel like I am going to scar my child for the rest of her life if I make the wrong decision.

If I put her in pre-school, that means she will no longer see Afg.hani every day. It means that she will have to make all new friends and get used to a completely new routine. What if she hates it? Will she make friends as great as the day care crew? Is she ready for pre-school? And bottom line, can we afford it---$300 extra a month is a lot; is it worth it?

Keeping her at Afgh.ani’s is the easy answer. We are all comfortable there. The routine is set. Several friendships have been made over time on the driveway during pick up and drop off times. All the kids get along well and have essentially grown up together. But most important, Afg.hani loves Grace and vice versa. But the past 8 months or so have been rough. I feel like the quality of certain aspects of Grace’s day have declined….our $800 a month used to get her a home-cooked lunch every day; now its Co.stco chicke.n nug.gets or fis.h stic.ks. Yea, that’s what she eats at home but I feel like with all the checks I write each month to day care, she should be getting what I have come to expect over the past 3 ½ years. Simple things like that have changed and it bugs me. Is that enough to move her to pre-school?

Hubby is fine with where Grace is. He tends to be a creature of habit. Again, it’s easy.

I always thought this would be an easy decision and even though my gut feeling is telling me what I should do, what if I am wrong? What if, in 5 years, Grace is having issues and her therapist tells me it is all because I moved her into pre-school when she was 4 years old?! Oh, it’s a whole other form of Mommy Guilt!!!


TeamWinks said...

It's a tough call, and I'm sure you'll do the right thing. I'm sure Grace would make new friends at pre-school too. Either way, she's going to have to cut ties with Afghani sooner or later to go to school. Good luck with your decision. :-)

-L said...

Only you can make that decision but I will say that I don't think putting her in pre-school is a bad idea.

Like B said above, she's going to have to cut ties eventually. I think pre-school will help prepare her for the structure of kindergarten.

And she will definitely not have a hard time making friends. Plus, she can always hang out with her daycare friends through playdates and things like that.

I know you'll do what your gut tells you to. Try not to beat yourself up too much over this!

I can't imagine making these kinds of decisions because I'm not in the same boat as you, yet :)

Bri said...

We tried to get Ash into the preschool over here that I wanted her in and it's already full for next year. So we signed her up for Sept 2009. I am SHOCKED at how much preschool costs. And how far in advance you have to plan. Having never had to do any of this for daycare etc - this is mind boggling.

I think preschool is a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation. But we figured at least now no one can say that we didn't do absolutely everything we could to prepare her. And you for Grace. I'd rather be damned for doing than regret not doing. If any of that makes sense :P

Tracy said...

I don't know you but I happened upon your blog. I being the "Afghani" so to speak have a different view I'm sure.

I am a Christian, Mom, and home daycare provider.

Personally as a Mom I think children have school shoved down their throat so early that it makes it not-so-fun. They have a lifetime to learn...they are learning no matter where they are so to send them early just baffles me. I taught my own kids what they needed to learn (daycare helped) when I worked outside of our home.

As a daycare provider...children are resiliant and will easily adjust to a new environment. Chances are ties to Afghani and friends will never be lost. We love them too much to never see them again. I have only been a provider for 5 years but I still see most of my kids that I have kept and sent off to school over those years...and it's as if they never left my home.

HTH...not sure if I shed any light or not but ultimately it's your choice what you decide to do with your daughter. I wouldn't worry about therapy just yet...believe me they will blame us for something more pertinent (like the teenage years).

Oh and BTW, my dh & I have five kids of our own (ages 8,14,19,20,&22). We also have a grandson that will soon be 3...and before you guess that I am grandma age...I'm not (just 35).

Sorry to intrude on your blog but I had to pipe in after I read your dilemma. Prayers for peace of mind in your decision.

Tracy said...

Eek I reread that part about the school thing...I also meant to say that I do not fault anyone who values learning at younger ages...Personally I just think it's a bit much at such young ages but with your dd being 4 she would be in kindergarten soon anyway. Just thought I would clarify.