What part of NO dont I understand!? The N and the O.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

I say no all day long. At work, it's "no there is no registration discounts" or "no conference cannot be held in Antartica next year" and even "no I am not a miracle worker". At home, I hear no constantly. No hitting. No yelling inside. No running. No ice cream for dinner. No more tv.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Why, then, do I have such a hard time saying no when it comes to me and my time and my sanity!?

Sure, I can take on 5 more meetings throughout the country over the next year and still manage a 1200 person conference!

Absolutely; I will make sure that all the doctor appointments are made by the end of the hour.

Yes, please put me on that mailing list so I can attend all the professional development events in the city.

And please, make sure that my planner is busitng at the seams with no day left blank!

I got an email this week about my 10 year high school reunion. I cant believe its been 10 years! Anyways........the first Planning Meeting is Thursday night. Of course, I emailed "Yes, I will be there".

On my way into work this morning, I realize that I do want to be there. But the reunion (rumor has it) will be in October. My conference is in October. October is the busiest month of my year. And so I spent my commute time (1 1/2 hours today!) rationalizing in my head how I can make it work. I can volunteer for things that will take time now but not a lot of time in October. Maybe work on securing the location since thats what I do at work anyways. Or I can simple help locate classmates. That cant possible take a ton of time! In the end, yes, I am going to the meeting on Thursday and I am going to involve myself.

I have always been this way.......unable to say no. Since becoming a mom, it has gotten worse. For me, its the Working Mom thing. I feel so guilty that I am not at home with Grace all day that I feel I need to prove something. But what? Does having a full schedule make me feel more important? Maybe thats it. I want to know that I am more than a frazzled working mom; that people like me and want me involved in their projects. Maybe its because if I fill Grace's schedule, she will know that just because I am not with her all day doesnt mean I dont want to be involved with her.

I dont think I am proving a thing. Except that I am exhausted, frazzled, feeling guilty, and just generally overwhlemed.

And such is the plight of this working mom.........

1 comment:

Bri said...

I have the opposite problem. I say no first. And then say yes later after I've ticked the asker off! :)

But a little no could go a LONG ways for you. Just start by saying no to the little things. It may help.

And doing the reunion stuff in October is just plain crazy. Unless you can do prep stuff in July I wouldn't do it! Remember how nuts you were last year!!!