Changes

2 years ago, Grace came into my life and nothing (I mean, nothing) has been the same. Most of that is good but honestly---some of it plain old stinks! All I really want out of my day is to go to he bathroom with the door shut and maybe watch an entire sitcom in quiet.

My pre-mommy life was pretty damn fun. I worked at least 50 hours a week. When I wasnt at work, my then-boyfriend-now-hubby and I were always out doing something. Sometimes I was on the golf course with him and a buddy chasing down the beer cart, sometimes we were sitting in the pool with adult beverages at midnight, and most of the time, we were at our favorite restaurant/bar. I spent money on whatever I wanted----clothes, shoes, fancy expensive drinks. I even bought myself a $200 bottle of wine one day. Now it sits in my wine cellar fridge and ages to perfection! Happy hour? No problem---be there at 6 after the work is done. Shopping was a favorite hobby and I had a new work outfit every week!

Mommy-me?! Well, I still work but those late nights at the office have to be planned out at least 2 days ahead of time. Otherwise the day care schedule gets out of whack! WHen I am not at work, I am cleaning up Dora toys in the family room, teaching a 2 year old how to flush the potty, and when I do watch tv, I am also folding the 2 loads of laundry I did earlier in the day and ironing 5 pairs of pants and 10 shirts. Most of my time is spent working or taking care of the family/house/pets/etc.

Sure, my schedule changed when I had a baby. But the biggest changes are in myself. I have known for these past 2 years that motherhood changed me but this weekend, for some reason, it dawned on me. I am a completely new person. Not worse or better than the old one; just new. I dont mind spending Friday nights at home with the Hubby and toddler. So what if the hottest new band is playing downtown or if there is a wine dinner we are missing that night? Sitting at home dancing to the Laurie Berkner Band is much more fun! I still love to shop but I find myself spending all my money at Gymboree, Children's Place....they dont care my size!!!!

There are times when all I want to do is hit rewind for one night; to be the fun partying girl at the bar who has no responsibilites in the world. I miss those days sometimes. I miss happy hours, late nights after concerts, sleeping past 8 am, expensive wine dinner dates with the Hubby. But you know what? I only miss them once in awhile. When that happens, I call a Girls Night and out we go! (Except we are all getting older and when the clock hits 11 pm, we are ready to go home to bed! Sad, huh!?)

Motherhood has made me more compassionate, much more patient, and more family oriented than I ever thought possible. From the moment I met my Grace, I knew what love was. It still amazes me that the 38 inch person living in my house has so much power----the power to make me into this new person and to make me feel so much love.