6/10/06

Hiting is no good!

I have so many pregnancy and newborn care facts in my head that I cant seem to get a handle on all the toddler facts. And I am beginning the feel like its spiraling out of control!!!

I read every pregnancy and newborn care book at Barnes and Noble when I was pregnant. Every week, I would proudly tell the Hubby what was going to happen next and how to deal with it. When friends get pregnant, I pass around my library of books and I love to talk about all those little know facts about pregnancy (hello?? no one told me about the leg cramps in the middle of the night or the clumsiness!). Newborn care was that way too---whereever I was, so was my Dr. Sears book or the "Baby Bible"---What To Expect..... I have them all---...When Expecting, ...In the First Year....In the Toddler Years. The first two books have broken spines, highlighter marks, and have been left outside a number of times in rain storms after being carried through the house with me. The Toddler Years.....yea, I read the first 2 or 3 chapters. The spine looks new and I am not sure that my highlighter has been introduced to that book yet. Which brings me to the current issue at home........Hiting.

Grace has become the "Hiter" at day care!!! It started recently at day care but she has been hiting at home whenever she is frustarated or not the center of attention. Seriously....day care said she is hiting everyone---her friends, toys, the swingset, the day careista, and even the babies. Not hard but still....she shouldnt be hiting. She wont "use her words" and she just gets madder if you tell her to do so! In the mornings, she hits Day Care-ista because she doenst want Mommy to leave. But in the afternoon, Grace hits me when i pick her up because she wants to stay at day care.

Could this be happening because Daddy is gone? Routines changed during his trip and she misses him a ton. Or is it her age? or is my baby girl turning into a the "spoiled only child" at day care who hits when she doesnt get her way?!!!?

Everyone keeps telling me "Oh, she's 2. It happens" or "Welcome to the Terrible Twos!". Well, that is all fine and dandy but its so overwhleming frustarating for me. I cant even describe how it makes me feel other than crazy/mad/pissed/like a failure/totally and completely unable to handle a child over the age of 1. Amalah desribed it perfectly actually so go see her and that about sums up with this feels like for me!

I am not prepared for this. I am terrified. Every other issue (thrush, jaundice, ear infections, diaper rash, walking, etc), I could handle all of it. I had read the books and knew what to do next. But now that she is a toddler and needs discipline, I am lost.

I dont think spanking is the right choice for this one (why spank a child dor hiting? isnt it the same thing?) but the "Naughty Step" isnt working anymore. Day care doesnt do timeouts and I feel that we need to be disciplining in similiar (if not the same) style for consistency. I am a champ at baby care but not sure how this toddler thing is working out right now. I am totally overwhelmed with the discipline issue.

Any help is GREATLY appreciated. Or just let me know I am not alone in this crazy toddler place....it does get easier, doesnt it? I hope. Please tell me it does....I am begging you!!!

4 comments:

KatieJoeandGrace said...

Not there yet and I really have no ideas. But I will ask my friend whose toddler went through a major biting stage. I think what they did was not so much discipline her, but instead put her in the room with the bigger children where she was more intimidated than 'in charge' and that helped. But I will ask her what they did at home too.

Self-Proclaimed Supermom said...

Benny has become a hitter too. I don't know where it comes from, because we don't do that around here.

She will grow out of it. Don't worry :)

Bri said...

Ashtabula was a biter there for about a month. She'd get really irritated if we said "No" or took away an inappropriate toy (like an extension cord) and turn and bite - with her two little teeth! So we just sort of prevented her from biting by pulling away when she was about to bite down and said "No" again. A couple times when that didn't work I held her bottom jaw shut - yeah, she got mad - but nobody got hurt! She hasn't done it in a month or two now - so I think we're out of the woods. I think you just have be be consistant - and patient - two of the hardest things to do as a parent (in my humble op)....good luck~ If that doesn't work - we can always send my biter out to teach her a lesson about hitting! Bwahhhh!

Anonymous said...

It sounds like your daughter and my son are kindred spirits. He has started hitting at daycare and even lashes out at his friends when we get together to play. He has a temper that seems to rocket out of control. I have read some articles on "spirited children" that seem to have some suggestions. I have just started trying to stop the hitting, as it came out of nowhere as well. As always, consistency is key. I wish us both luck with our little hitters.