I am reading Mommy Wars. I have been reading it since a friend gave me the book for Christmas. Normally, I can get through a book in a week but I just cant read more than 2 or 3 essays in this book at a time. There are times that I read the stories and think, "Yep, thats how I feel too!" and I feel validated. But then there are times that I am so angry and annoyed that I have to walk away from the book for a few days. I am not rehashing the Mommy Wars in this post, just had to let you know that I am getting through the book, slowy but I am doing it. At the end of the book, I will write my own eassy for all to read.
Last night, I had tears running down my face from laughing so hard at one of the essays and so I MUST share some of the best parts with everyone I know and dont know and might know one day, etc, etc, etc! Here it goes:
Short background: Author is Monica Buckley Price. Michael is her husband. New mom. Still trying to decide whether to go back to the office or stay home (although that isnt very important to this atory!).
"The next day, Michael went back to work. My friends went back to their busy schedules shooting tv pilots, designing Lego toys, and not nursing babies. I was home with a National Geographic crotch, too terrified to take my son outside of the house. What if he needed to nurse in the middle of Target? What if an infertile woman knocked me on the head with her Hermes bag and abducted him? (Supermom inserted note: its a joke!! No one is serious about this one!) And there was a very real chance my vag--- (Supermom inserted note: I am not spelling the word b/c I dont need the search engines to find this one!!) would detach and fall on the sidewalk."
"Once at 3 a.m., in an attempt to help out, Michael got up to change a diaper while I sat on the floor by the changing table, the breast pump wheezing and pulling both boobs. I was so tired and stretched and stitched, I didn't think it could get any worse. Then I felt warm liquid splatter against the side of my face. I didn't move. "That better not be shit on my face!" It was. Michael had forgetten to cover the baby's butt while he looked for another diaper, and, yes, now I had shit all over my head and could see it splattered on the wall behind me."
Okay, stop laughing so damn hard!!!!! Everyone in my office is staring at me because no matter how many times I read this essay or just these 2 passages, the tears come through the laughter. Maybe its because it is just plain funny but I think its really because I remember how it feels----National Geographic and all!!!