Ever read the same book over and over and over again? Does it ever get old? Do the twists and turns ever seem so predictable or are they as surprising to you as the first time you read it?
Gone With The Wind is that book in my life. Scarlett O'Hara is my heroine. I love her. If I could be one famous literary character, that's who I would be. I even tried to convince my hubby to name our baby Scarlet if it was a girl (once we decided on Grace, I stil tried to get Scarlet as her middle name).
Have you read the book? If not, run to Barnes and Nobles now and pick up a copy. You wont be the same.
"I can't think about that now. I will think about that tomorrow." Scarlett says it constantly throughout the book. I say it everyday; if not aloud, to myself. Why is that? Recently, I feel myself slipping....slipping into parts of myself that I have not met in years. Since college, really. I think its been that long or maybe I have simply been trying to ignore myself.
Scarlett is a survivor. She lives in a complicated world; turning from young Southern Belle to widow and mother to business owner in a matter of a few short years in a time that did not value opinions coming from the lips of women. Even if you think she was a selfish bitch, you have to admit that she survived; she made it through the best way she knew how.
No, I dont live in a world like hers, with a war literally happening in my front yard. Nope, I dont have to worry about the Yankees stealing the last cow left in the County. I know that I live a pretty nice life. But honestly, I am really good at putting up fronts too. I can feel the fronts falling down and I cant seem to get my arms under them to keep them up for much longer!
Like Scarlett, I have an anger/forgiveness issue. In the book, Scarlett loses things that mean everything to her because she realizes too late how important they are to her survival. I dont want that to be me. I want my anger to go away; I want to trust and love and all that. I want to be able to feel happy and actually live in the moment.
Reading this book again this summer reminds me that, like Scarlett, I have survived my own problems in life and am doing okay. But there is always something else or someone else to deal with right around the corner. Scarlett and I are independant women, to a fault. I am learning her lesson for the both of us and hopefully wont have to learn the hard way like she did.
Now the question is: where do I start?