8/24/06

Am I Good Enough!?

Celebrate Motherhood! Swirling hearts embrace each other as a mother holds her child; the Celtic Knot of Motherhood.

This post inspired by............Kristen, aka Mother of Motherhood Uncensored.

I read her blog every single day. In fact, I usually visit a few times a day because she gets the BEST comments! Today, as I sit at my desk with my venti iced extra pump vanilla latte, I got all sorts of teary reading her post. This one, this is the post!!!


She hit the nail on the head. Everywhere we turn, there are pictures of Perfect Mommy---you know the one with manicured hands, walking her designer-clad child down the street on her way to the playgroup that she heads up. Maybe she works, maybe she doesnt. It really doesnt matter because everything she does is perfect and you just know her child will end up perfect as well. Because she does it all right!

I dont want to be Perfect Mommy, anymore. I admit that there was a time that I thought I was her and that I should be her and damn anyone who questioned my parenting skills. But now that I have 2 1/2 years under my belt in this motherhood game, I realize that I am as clueless as I was 2 1/2 years ago when I left the hospital with baby in arms. Now, I dont strive to be Perfect Mommy; Good Enough Mommy works for me!

Yes, of course I want Gracie to grow up to be the smartest, coolest, prettiest, and best person in the world. I want her to have everything she wants and not have to want for anything. Most of all, I just dont want to be the reason she is screwed up. Is that too much to ask!?

A few of my friends are parents. Some are trying for baby #1. Some are years away from parenthood. I was one of the first in our close group of friends to become a Mom. It was scary as hell. Seriously, I thought I would be the outcast; the one never able to hang out or have fun because I had a kid. Well, my friends proved me wrong and now Grace has a whole bunch of "other mothers and fathers" to protect her from being too screwed up. I always feel like I am doling out parenting advice to my friends and sure, I think I am right. Grace is still alive and is thriving so there must be some piece of parenting that I am good at. But really, guys, I am just telling you what worked for me and Grace. All mothers do things differently; none better than the next, just different.

Mommy Wars has always been the big Motherhood Controversary. But maybe in the real world of motherhood, the fight is in ourselves to simply be good moms/parents. Not perfect but good enough.

4 comments:

Mother said...

I think even trying to be good enough is a challenge. I think "what is that - good enough?" It doesn't help that people could have the greatest parents and be total rat assholes.

You think - damn, maybe I should just be a crazy drunk lunatic - I had a dad like that and I turned out fine.

But then you sober up and realize that's not how it should be. :)

I loved this post, J! Thanks for the spinoff.

TeamWinks said...

I think you manage to be more than good enough. You live life to its fullest (think Buffet, bbq in the backyard, and wine,) you set a good example of a loving marriage, and you love your daughter unconditionally. Isn't that enough? You've given her a good role model to live by, and you should be proud. Amen, that's all I have to say. :-)

KatieJoeandGrace said...

Although we want the absolute best for our children, the best thing that we can do for them is just to be there, in their lives, taking care of them-- no matter how hard and trying that is at times. In the end, they will look back and go "wow, I have a great Mom"... even though that may be years away, it will be worth it!

Allie said...

Don't worry-I'll take care of screwing her up ;) In all seriousness, love her and eachother unconditionally-what more can one ask for?