When I was pregnant with Grace, I made a ton of assumptions about the new life I was starting as a Mommy. Some of those assumptions ended up right; most did not. The one that bothers me the most; my lack of Mommy friends.
Yes, I have friends who have children (MamaChix, SuperGirl is due in a few months, and a few HS friends) but 90% of them live in another state. We chat on the phone, exchange emails when we are bored at work, and even set up playdates during quick visits.
But where are those friends I dreamed about? Those local Mommy friends who have kids the same age as Grace. The weekly playdates. The outings to the zoo and to the park or even to the mall. The Mommy Club is the hardest group to break into. Just because you gave birth does not give you an automatic pass.
Monday, I took Grace to the playground. I was there for an hour. Not one other mother spoke to me though we all check each other out as we enter the playground! Grace played with some of the kids there but most of them were already in groups because they came to the park together. That is what I dreamed of.....me and my mommy friends meeting at thepalyground so we could chat and the kids could play. So where is my ticket into the club? Was it lost in the mail? Maybe the post office tried to deliver it and I wasnt home?
I have some of the best friends in the world; people who would drop everything if Grace needed them and who love her so much. I know that and am thankful for all those people in my life. But its hard to discuss the merits of time-outs vs spanking and naptime routines unless you have actually experienced them. Its impossible to describe the struggles of working mothers with someone who doesnt have children. Yes, you can chat about the surface things but what about the rest?
Growing up, my mom had friends with kids the same ages as hers. All of us kids grew up together and to this day, we have an "extended family". Those friendships are dearer to me than anything else in the world. I want that for Grace too.
Funny that when I started blogging, I found so many other mothers who feel the same way I do.....thanks internet mommy friends! When I looked around the playground on Monday, it seems like all the other mothers have such an easy time of making "Mommy Friends". So what am I doing wrong?