5/11/06

Other Mothers

How many "moms" do you have? I have 3. My mom, TT, and MM (nicknames of course!)

Growing up in suburbia, my mother became friends with all my friend's moms. As a teenager, I was convinced she did that just to spy on me when I wasnt at home. I would show up at friends' houses after school and there would be the 2 moms, sipping tea and sneaking cigarettes waiting for all the 16 year olds to come home! But there were 2 families that made a difference in my family's life: the Ts and the Ms.

We became friends with the Ts when I was in fourth grade because the oldest T girl and I were fighting at school; I was the new girl in school and we were fighting over the attention of another girl in our class. By fifth grade, we hated that other girl and we were inseperable!!! The Ms were neighbors of the Ts and so naturally, they joined the gang! The rest is history.

Teenage girls and their mothers dont always get along (I know--shocking!!!) but I always felt like I had a mom to talk to. The relationship with my mother was (and still is) dramatic; one day we were best friends and the next day we couldnt even stand to look at each other. When I needed someone to talk to, I had 2 other mothers to lean on. When it was time to have a baby, I had 3 moms to give me advice. And when my wedding day came, I had 2 "other mothers" to help me through the day.

Through the years, we grew up. I dont talk to my T friend much anymore (our lives a very different) but bottom line---she is part of my family and I will always think of her as a surrogate sister. The Ms have become a second family as well to me. In fact, my daughter was the flower girl in the latest M wedding.

But really, how often I talk to the Ts or the Ms....it doenst matter. TT and MM helped raise me and they are my "other mothers". In no way do they take love from my "real" mom but they gave me things that my mother could not; in the end, making me a better mother.

Grace is growing up with the same experience, I think and I hope. Our "family" of friends is very important to Bill and I. We have fraternity brothers, high school friends, work buddies, and new "additions" surrounding us all the time and we love it. These people have been around Grace since her "in utero" days and Grace loves them all so much. I truly hope that she realizes how special it is to have an extended family such as this to turn to. My wish for her is to have relationship, even just one, with our extended "friend family" so that she always feels like there is someone who cares, who loves her, and who she "belongs" to (especially during those dramatic teenage years when I am sure she will "hate" her dad and me when we impose a curfew, say no to dying her hair purple, etc, etc,etc).



So, in honor of my (and Grace's) "other mothers", HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! I love you!

3 comments:

rhonda said...

You are a very lucky lady. Happy Mother's Day To You too!

Allie said...

YAY! I love that mashed pototo pic but she looks so little! :) I'm very honored, and don't worry--Moo and I will go to Sally together to pick out the right shade of purple ;) xoxo

KatieJoeandGrace said...

Sweet pictures. Happy Mother's Day to you also!