Oxymorons

1. Picking up the house for the maids. What?! How redundant is that!? Cleaning for the cleaning lady confuses the hell out of me but yet, last night, I spent 4 hours doing that very thing!

2. Office is closed for the holiday but you need to call to check in at least twice. Huh? If I have to check in with work on my day off, then it really isnt a day off, is it?

3. Affordable Family Housing, starting in the 800's. WHAT? Seriously, I saw this sign this morning and it isnt the first time I have seen this. What, may I ask, does this family do for a living that they can afford a house starting at $800,000? Please let me know because I just might be willing to change careers!

4. Childproof Gates. The box lied to me (I know, imagine that!). It said the gate latch was childproof. Why, then, did my toddler get it open and half way up the stairs before I realized it this morning?!

5. The fact that the government agency who I give the most money to each April is shut down for at least a month. I know that I pay them a pretty penny each year and in return, I simply expect them to maintain their building and be at their desks every single day. Nope----a little rain water in the basement and they are all on PAID vacation for a month!

6. Rush hour. If we are all rushing to get somewhere (presumably home after a long day at the office), then why are we only driving 25 miles an hour on the highway?! Driving 20 miles on highways should NOT take 1 hour and 15 minutes.

Okay, there they are....the oxymorons I have experienced in only the past 24 hours or so! Happy hour is tonight so I should be just fine by 5 pm.....about the time the first martini will be ordered!