1 Day Down!

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but I am terrifed that it will burn out.

Grace spent all day long yesterday in "big girl pants".

She woke up and refused the diapers. She wanted Cinderella big girl pants. Since it was a low key day for us, I thought why not? Let's give this a try.

And it worked. At least it did yesterday.

I sent her to day care with Princess pan.ties today so we shall see how today goes when Hubby picks her up tonight.

Cross your fingers!!!! Everyone told me to be patient and that one day it will all just click. Man, I hope yesterday was that day.

Crowded House

So it has been a full week now. A full week since C and M moved in with us.

Yep, we have roomies. And I love it!

Grace adores them and actually prefers to hang out with them over Mommy and Daddy soemtimes. M goes grocery shopping. C is a preschool teacher and can entertain Grace when I have no clue what to do with her. There is another adult to talk to in the morning (Hubby and I leave the house at dramactically different times so there isnt any adult convo in the mornings for us!). C and I made dinner together last night and M did the dishes. And oh yea, I took a 10 minute shower the other day and the bathroom door never opened!!! Seriously, that is the best!!!!!

They have only been here a week and we arent sure how long to stay will be. Their house is making great progress so it could be shorter than originally thought. But however long it will be, I love it and am having a ball!!

Not In My Office Darling!

Today is Take Your Kid To Work Day. Neither Hubby or I are participating.

Granted, not sure the holiday/event/whatever it is, was set up for toddlers. But still, it would have been fun. Nothing would get done at the office but Grace would have loved it! Maybe in a few years when she can sit still for longer than 3.25 seconds. Or maybe when she is old enough to actually help me stuff conference badges or stick mailing labels on 7,000 marketing pieces.

I am a little hesitant to join in on the "fun" of this "take your kids to the office" day.

Spending time with Grace is one of my favorite pasttimes in the world. She is a ton of fun lately. And while at work, I think about, talk about, and stare at (her picture is right in front of me) her all day long. But I dont want to bring her to the office on the fourth Thursday of every April.

Work is one of the few places that belong to me. Only me. There are no Bar.bies to step on, no puzzles to complete, and I dont have to watch Go D.iego Go at all when I am here. At the office, I know exactly what I am doing and if I am not sure I have books to look up the "right way" to do it all. Strange, huh, that the office, work, is my sanctuary!?

At home, I step on Bar.bies, complete puzzles only to have the pieces fall out when I put them away, and Di.ego is a daily visitor to the family room tv. And I am not just me. There I am a wife, a mom, a roommate (temporarily), and a neighbor. I am not just me, the meeting planner. Or even just me, me. No books are there telling me "yes, the method you have used to potty training is the correct one" or to tell me "yes, that meal of pb&j with some crackers is full of nutritional value for your growing daughter".

I am on my own in that place.

But at work, I am confident, put together (I actually have on makeup and have combed my hair in the last 4 hours!), and productive.

So can you blame me in not wanting to participate in this "Bring your kid to the office so s/he can take over what you consider the last place left in life that you get to be an adult al the time"!?!?!

A Conversation with a 3 Year Old

And this is the exact conversation that occured in my Mom-mobile after day care yesterday. Serisouly, this really happened!!!

Me: Gracie, did you have fun today at day care?

Grace: Yes. I listen Mi.ckey songs

Me: cue the Disney mix cd that I am SOOOO sick of listening to! Here baby. Hey, its the Beau.ty and the Bea.st song!

Grace: No Bea.st. He scare me. No No No. Dont like this Mama.

Me: Okay, fine. turn to the Litt.le Merm.aid song. Better?

Grace: No. No want Lit.tle Mer.maid. Want Cind.erella. Mommy, I hit you on the head with my shoes.

Me: Ummmm, what? Thats not very nice Grace. imagine me driving and trying not the laugh so there are tears rolling down my face. At least they were Cro.cs so they wouldnt hurt but still.......

Grace: You say I a bad girl. You go timeout when we home. I hit you on head with new shoes.

And this went on for 10 minutes. Over and over again. And when we got home, she told her Dad on the phone that Mommy had to go to timeout cause she wanted to hit me on the head with her shoes and I said no.

Sigh. 3 year olds crack me up!

PIcture Day!

Even though I am at work today, I am STILL exhausted from my day at home yesterday with a sick toddler. And so today, no words........just a bunch of adorable pics from this weekend.

Enjoy! Grace and one of our new temporary roommates (Hi Mitch!) in the plastic playhouse. Seeing Mitch climb out of this thing was hysterical....once you are 6 feet tall, you really shouldnt try to squeeze yourself into one of these little houses!!!

Ummm, is he not the cutest thing in the world!!???!!! Baby Dylan---LOVE the shades Little Man!

And this is the stupid llama that (I think) gave my girl a rash. But wow, did she love them!

Bubbles everywhere! They really are the best entertainment.

4 kiddos all looking at the baby cows. Notice that Grace is at least a full head taller than the rest of them!?!?!? Amazing! And they were all so damn adorable at the farm.

Tears for All Today

I am home today. Working but home.

Apparently something gross is living outside of my house cause Grace was at the dr this morning with a rash. Yep, her first case of poison ivy (or something like it)!

Fantastic!

So now that we are home and we have the meds from the doc, she is itchy, uncomfortable, rashy, moody (who can blame her?! She's sick.), and oh yeah, the meds are making her so tired that she wont even lay down for a nap. Just sits in Mommy and Daddy's bed, crying. And crying. And crying.

And then Mommy cries cause, well, what else is there to do!?

What Are Friends For?

Friendships have been on my mind lately. A particular kind of friendship really.

The kind that is open and honest, sometimes brutally. The kind that even through hurt there is care. The kind that makes the world go round.

I have friends, that even though I dont talk to them daily or even weekly, I know are there when I need them. I have friends that are so brutally honest with me that it hurts like hell sometimes but in the end, its okay. They care. They are concerned. I even have people who I was friends with long ago that I still talk to once in awhile and sometimes, they are the people who I can turn to for advice. Strange but true.

Isnt that really what friendship is about? Caring.

I dont always understand my friends. And thats okay........I know that they dont get me either most of the time. BUt I always learn from them and I hope they can see through my words and learn from me too.

I may not be the person who can sit on the floor and cry with them. I may not be the person to turn to for every piece of advice. In fact, I am told often that my advice is not always needed. But I am the person who tries to reach out for some sort of understanding. Some sort of mutual understanding.

And damn is it fruatarating when that understanding seems so out of reach.

What Next?

Someone asked me the other day a question that normally I have a 20 minute answer for: So, what are your next goals? Where are you going from here?

Ummm..........In 5 years I will be........ummmmm.........nope, I have no clue!

For years, my goals have been pretty simple to list: 1) keep Hubby and Grace healthy and keep Marfan's Syndrome incidents as low as possible, 2) get my CMP, and 3) finally own the house so that we can start the renovations.

#1 is an on going goal but with the cardi.ologist telling me that there is no sign of Marfan's for Grace, I can relax a bit there. #2 is complete. I have the 3 magic letters and dont need to recertify for 5 more years. And #3 is in progress.

So what next?

Career-wise, I am not sure. So far I am still being challenged so there is no reason to look for anything else out there. I am happy at this office. But I need a goal to reach for. Maybe its getting more involved in the industry as a whole. But what am I willing to sacrifice to attend committee meetings every month and various professional development events al month long? Will it really help with my career? Is it worth it?

Yes there is still a ton going on in my life. But I have always had something to reach for. Some goal out there, whether it was 6 months or 6 years away.

Whats the next thing for life?

I am happy with it all right now. But I hate feeling as if I am simply going day by day. I need some "destination" at the end. Maybe thats my new goal......to find the next thing!

Any ideas?!?!!?

Tragedy

I was glued to the tv all day yesterday and all night and again, glues to the radio during my commute this morning.

How can this happen? Where does Virgin.ia Te.ch go from here?

I am in shock over it all. My brother has friends at the school and has gotten in touch with one of them. He is still trying to reach others. I have friends who are VT alumni. Its just unbelieveable what happened there yesterday.

Thats all I can say about it.

Update: Listening to the news conference right now. The shock just increases that the gu.nman's residence is listed as my home town. The place I grew up and went to high school. The place where so many of my firends and my parents still live. I just cant believe it.

A Good Day

I love these kind of days. You know that kind......a day off work with the only plans hanging out with the 3 year old.

Well, not so much hanging out but spending most of the day in various doctors offices.

First thing this am the ped.atric card.iologist. Good news! No signs of Marfan's Syndrome at this point for Grace! YEA! Its nice to hear that we dont have to make another cardi.ologist appointment for Grace until 2011. I am breathing a little easier now.

Later today we are going for the 3 year old check up. All the basics.

A good day at home. Just Gracie and Mommy. I love it!

Okay, its naptime so I need to get cleaning the house.

Still LOL

Seriously the funniest show I have seen in a long time! LOVED IT!

Is it ironic that it premiered on Grace's 3rd birthday when all those pregnancy memories come back in one giant rush!?

Notes From The Underbelly is based on the book (same title) by Risa Green. Check out her blog at Mommy Track'd.

Watching the show last night was like a trip down memory lane for Hubby and I. We know at least one person like each of the characters and all the fears and craziness about a new pregnancy on the show were so true! The friends who are Obsessive Preggers; you know that kind...practicing diapering a doll before the baby arrives, regualting bedtime for mom and dad before the baby laughs upon it arrival cause NO schedule is what the baby wants, and on and on and on. Man, I hope I am not one of those who tell all the scary pregnancy stories (the ones no one tells you about until its too late!) or the one who forces everyone to make onesies at the baby shower so Little Baby can have creative personalized clothing to spit up on.

My favorite character is the Cooper, the anti-marriage, anti-baby divorce lawyer friend. The one who gets upset because her friends will never be the same after a baby. And she has a point.

At the end of the show, I realized that getting pregnant and having a baby is hard----on your body, on your finances, on your sanity. But in all seriousness, that was the easy part. I had a doctor to tell me what to do and what to expect week by week. It is the permament changes in your relationships that is the hardest thing to deal with. And it doesnt get easier as your baby gets older. Friendships are never the same and even marriage changes.

Some relationships get stronger and some disappear. It hurts when you cant join your friends for a night on the town cause Baby needs a sitter and no one is around. And it really sucks when you go to the playground and realize that you hold on to other friendships so strongly but have made NO "playdate friends" for your child. And man does it suck when you are passed over for a project at work cause you have a kid and obviously cant be dedicated to a project (when you know that is SO not true!).

Its hard. Its exhausted. Its scary. And I wouldnt trade it for the world.

And I am already looking forward to next week's Notes From The Underbelly.

Birthday Girl

Happy Birthday Grace!

I cant believe that 3 years have passed since you came into the world. How time flies!

It has been so amazing watching you grow from the tiny newborn we held to the princess you are today. You are the light of our lives and we cant remember what it was like without you. You make it all worth it.

Every morning when you run down to hall to give us hugs and kisses. When its pickup time at daycare and you cant wait to show us today's craft project. When you watch a movie and cuddle up on the couch. Even when you have a little attitude and make us laugh. All those moments are priceless and they are forever burned in my heart.

I love you more than I ever knew I could love someone. And it grows everyday.

Happy Birthday Grace. You are our princess.

Standing in my closet this morning trying to find something to wear to work (seriously, what happened to all my clothes!?) and I found the last remaining piece of maternity wear. Stuffed in the back corner underneath a pile of stuff waiting to be taken to Goo.dwill. A shapeless pink tshirt that I clearly remember hating because it didnt fit at all those last few weeks of pregnancy.

And that memory sparked so many more this morning.

3 years ago today. What was I doing? Running to the grocery store for last minute items, packing my hospital bag, praying that labor would start soon, cleaning the apartment, and agonizing over what girl and boy outfit to bring with me to the hospital (we didnt know what se.x the baby was so I had to be prepared!).

Oh yea, and I was completely miserable because I needed help getting my fat preggers self off the couch and even the old maternity staple, the overall, was too small. That my friends is a sign!!!! A sign that NO ONE should have to be 13 days overdue before scheduling the induction!

And 3 years ago today was the last day of my other life. The one without Grace. The one I would not go back to in a million years.

If I am this emotional about this today, just IMAGINE what I will be like tomorrow when Grace turns 3! Can you believe its been 3 years?!!?!?!?

Party Pictures

I survived all this and am already looking forward to another birthday party next year!!!

Make your own princess crown. And none of the kids got glue on the table.......impressive!

Checking out her loot from the indoor Easter Egg Hunt. Imagine 7 kids running through the family room looking for plastic proncess eggs full of Her.shey Ki.sses!

The Castle Cake. I outdid myself last year so now I need to at least maintain the awesome cake trend. Grace reminded me that this cake is not Cind.erella's castle cause her castle is blue. Oh well, I only had one tube of blue icing so you get what you get!!

Presents and more presents and more presents.

Cinderella with a blue mouth, courtesy of the blue Rin.g Pop in her party goody bag.

1 is Enough for Me.....for now at least!

This weekend marked Grace's first "kid birthday party". Yep, 7 children under the age of 5 running through my house for 2 hours.

It was fun. We made princess crowns, ate a castle cake, and had an easter egg hunt in the family room (it was 30 degrees outside so that just wasnt an option).

At the end of the day, I learned a few things:

1. 2 hours goes by very slowly when there are 7 kids to entertain.
2. I shouldnt have the maids come the day before an event like that. The day after would have been much smarter!!!
3. 1 kids is enough for us right now.

Using that insurance once again!

Cardiologists. I spend WAY too much time with them. I thought maybe, just maybe, after Hubby's surgery we could take a break for a few months from having to say the words cardio or echocardiogram or valve or aorta.

Every year, kids go to the doctor for a physical. Grace's is coming up so I made the appointment. And then I had to make an appointment with the pediatri.c cardio.logist. For the same day. She is going to be such a thrill to be with that day (that is sarcasm, folks)! Cardiac tests and exams first thing in the morning. And the day will end with the ever annoying trip to the peditrician's office. I love my peditrician but its still annoying to go to the office!

Annoyed but I know the peditrician's appointment will be okay.......once we wait for 30 minutes past our appointment to go back to the treatment rooms where we will wait for another 15 minutes. Dont you love doctor offices?!

Its the cardi.ologist that I am nervous about. See, Grace saw him immediately after she was born. She saw him 2 additional times that first year. And then he said "I will see her when she is 3". And that time is now. Since Hubby has Marfan Syndrome, we need to watch Grace for the same thing (there is a 50/50 chance of her having the same syndrome). That involves the card.iologists. (On a completely different note, how is the doctor going to keep a 3 year old still for the echocar.diogram and all that!?

So what if she does have Marfan's? Well, so what. We can handle it. But it still scares me. It makes me nervous. And what if she doesnt have it? I will be thrilled. But at the same time it terrifies me because what if we decide to have another baby and baby #2 has it?

So many what ifs and I have no idea when the answers will come!!!

Yep, that is me!

You Are A Rowan Tree

You are full of charm and cheer. You light up a room.And while you crave attention, you do it without ego.You are an interesting mix of contradictions - and very unpredictable.You are both dependent and independent, calm and restless.You are passionate, emotional, gregarious, and (at times) unforgiving.

What's" Your Celtic Horoscope?

L inspired me to spend time today taking quizzes. I love useless hours. They make the days go by sometimes!! :)

Thank Goodness Its Hum.p Day!

No, this week hasnt really been all that bad. It couldnt be bad----its my birthday week (and yes, I celebrate for a week---its Jaim-pril!!!)

But work has been boring (even though I have a To-Do list that is 4 pages long). The weather just turned crappy.

This weekend is going to be madness.....not only is it Eas.ter but Saturday afternoon, there will be 7 children under the age of 5 in my house for Grace's 3rd birthday party. A princess party. They will be making their own princess crowns, having an easter egg hunt (I found plastic eggs with Dis.ney Princesses on them!!!), and eating a castle cake (damn I still need to figure out how to make that cake!!!).

But really what I am looking forward to: GIRLS NIGHT!!!

One thing I have learned in my 3 years of motherhood is that sometimes Mama needs a night out to pretend that she actually has a social life! Friday is it!

The Girl Gang (hey, I think that will be our new "club"....L: what do you think!?) will be gathering for a night of fattening appetizers and drinks with umbrellas in them. Seriously, just alcohol with little umbrellas.....none of that mixer stuff for us!!! This is Girl Night #2 but I think we just might start being regulars at the local joint!

And so, Friday night at Friday's. See you there girls! I can hardly wait!!!

This is WHY I do it all

Every once in awhile, I am able to stop for a few minutes, look around me, and realize how lucky I am.

Tonight was one of these nights.

Kicking the ball around in the yard with Mommy and Daddy. She is actually pretty good too!

Grace learned how to roll down a hill tonight. I havent done that in years---what a ball!

Seriously, no words are needed....she is just adorable!

I'm HOW old!?

Its my birthday.

Sunday night was dinner at my parents. Painless, actually....which is a change. A good change.

And, man, did I get spoiled.....if I say so myself.

Great stuff for my kitchen that will be remodeled....soon, I hope. A shopping gift card, another gift card to get my hair done at the greatest salon, and Mom surprised me with a Coach bag.

And Monday night is the real birthday dinner with Hubby and Grace. It is a good bday for me!